It’s a date!

Last Wednesday was not only my 33wk mark but also the day I found out when they’ll start the process of baby coming into the world!

I have, after what feels like an age though I know it isn’t, got my induction date.

My first experience of the hospital, when it comes to my own care, could have been more positive. I definitely don’t want to complain or run them down. They’re doing a seriously tough job at a really shit time and the majority of the people I saw were lovely.


My midwife unit has a paper based system. I have a folder which I carry and it has everything in hardcopy. The new hospital is all electronic and can’t access those notes. This means that I saw 7(?) people in the anti-natal department who all asked the same questions, didn’t know who I was or what was wrong with baby and meant I had to repeat his diagnosis and why I was registering 3hrs from home to every single one of them. That is harder than it may sound. I was sat in waiting rooms full of mothers expecting healthy babies, listening to them call partners to tell them how well baby is growing and having staff assume I was one of them until I had to say otherwise. In such a busy environment I didn’t think it was possible to feel so alone. I am not ashamed to admit I cried silently more than once as I sat by myself and wished it wasn’t happening to me.

Reality has a way of slapping you in the face at very inconvenient times.

The last person I saw was the doctor who will be in charge of my care and delivery. She was amazing. Faultless. She was patient, kind, compassionate and despite obviously being super busy, didn’t make me feel rushed. I felt human. She listened to me and made sure I knew I had the final say, we came to a decision together and she was supportive of my choices. I may have cried in her office too. I do that a lot these days.

Not having Steve with me was horrible. I’m not convinced I took all the information in and rushing between departments and offices was incredibly stressful alone.

We have, however, been offered a tour of NICU. I’m so unbelievably grateful for this and definitely didn’t expect an in person one at the moment. They’ve even said Steve can go around after me so he can see everything too. I am so  thankful we have the opportunity to meet the team and see what to expect before experiencing it for ourselves.

I now just need to chase the Children’s hospital to find out what they need us to take and do when he’s transferred.
It feels like time is running at a million miles an hour and we won’t get everything done.

I know this is overwhelming for all mum’s but sometimes I still envy the people stressing if just one pack of nappies, or 7-8 baby grows will be enough. It makes it all so much more real dealing with all these different things and I would give anything to feel like a “normal” mum.