Mum Life – Our HRHS Journey

I don’t feel like peopling today.

Admittedly I have never been a social butterfly. I have friends who I adore and have all the time in the world for. I love them like family and will drop almost anything to catch some rare time with them. None of us are geographically close anymore so our time is precious. These days, however,Continue reading “I don’t feel like peopling today.”

Body Talk

I can’t promise there won’t be TMI in this. Everyone tells you how your body will change during pregnancy and after birth. Stretch marks, a “pouch”, varicose veins and all sorts of other wonderful side effects of growing a human being. I was reading a book recently and the main character had a baby. SheContinue reading “Body Talk”

I’m genuinely happy for you.

If you are pregnant, I wish you a smooth, healthy pregnancy. I hope the morning sickness eases and you get that elusive 2nd trimester glow. I hope baby behaves for their scans and you’re only given good news. I hope your midwives are lovely and your doctor’s kind. I hope your labour is everything youContinue reading “I’m genuinely happy for you.”

Guilt. Episode One.

Guilt and grief seem to go hand in hand, at least for me. Here are some of the things that I have found trigger the guilt. This is something deeply personal and everyone will be affected differently by their experiences and emotions. “How are you still standing? I don’t think I’d be able to getContinue reading “Guilt. Episode One.”

Missing You

7 weeks ago you completed our family. 4 weeks ago you left us. In the early hours of the morning, the quiet at 3am, when sleep evades me, I see us watching your consultant try and keep your tiny heart beating. I can see the scrubbed up nurses and doctors stood around the cot thatContinue reading “Missing You”

Introducing Stephen Alexander Howells

Day 2: I am writing this from the hotel room, two days after our family was completed with the arrival of (& this may be me being bias) the world’s most beautiful little boy. The birth story isn’t particularly traumatic but it wasn’t straightforward either. It turns out, baby is a bit of a dramaContinue reading “Introducing Stephen Alexander Howells”

It’s a date!

Last Wednesday was not only my 33wk mark but also the day I found out when they’ll start the process of baby coming into the world! I have, after what feels like an age though I know it isn’t, got my induction date. My first experience of the hospital, when it comes to my ownContinue reading “It’s a date!”

11 weeks to go.

Two weeks ago was my (repeatedly rescheduled due to snow) 26wk midwife appointment. I am spoilt with the care I receive from my midwife team. They’re based in a midwife led unit in a town all of 5miles from my home and before diagnosis, I was actually looking forward to giving birth there and withContinue reading “11 weeks to go.”

That’s my secret, I’m always angry.

I think the hardest thing so far has been the anger, swiftly followed by the crippling guilt. The anger is sporadic, chest tightening and blinding. I find myself begrudging anyone else with a “normal” pregnancy. People who are worrying about sleepless nights and nappy changes. I would give everything and anything in this world toContinue reading “That’s my secret, I’m always angry.”